Basics

How to promote pondering?

Posted on April 17, 2014January 24, 2017 by Carol Hulbert

Tonight, at the dinner table, “noodle around” and ruminate. Reap the benefits!

A young boy says sarcastically: my day was fine

Does this sound like conversation in your household?

You: How was school today?

Child: Fine.

You: What did you learn?

Child: Nothing.

Sometimes it can feel like pulling teeth!

Try turning your inquiries into a dinner table game.

Tell me two things that really happened today and one thing that didn’t happen, and I’ll try to guess which ones are true!

This suggestion comes from a book by Drs. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, The Whole Brain Child: 12 Proven Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. ← (That is the link to the Ann Arbor District Library’s copy of the book.) Now, admittedly this line of questioning probably won’t go over well with older kids — for them try asking for a “true” opinion and a “false” opinion they hold on some newsworthy subject.

Regardless of the discussion topic there is benefit to this inquiring tactic — besides revealing your child’s activities, or learning how they feel about life — kids unwittingly receive practice in pondering.

What is so important about honing reflection skills?

Asking children to dig back into their memory is known by educators as essential to moving learning to long-term storage. Reflection has been described as the “mind’s strongest glue.” [1]

So promote some pondering! Let’s continue to mull over the events of Holy Week. Use the chart below to read and talk about the next portion of our story.

If you’d like to print out this reading plan/discussion guide, click here.
Or, check out the other mini reading plans for our Rotation on the events of Holy Week here. If your kids aren’t clear about the order of the events of Holy Week, start at the beginning.)

Read	Talk about or do…
Matthew 26:36-39	What are Jesus’ feelings? If you were facing some sort of crisis, what three friends would you ask to be with you? Bonus Q: Who were the two sons of Zebedee? Hint: Luke 5:10-11.
Mark 14:32-26	Tell about a time when you knew what was coming up; you knew what you were up against. Did you follow through? What is Jesus asking of God? What does he mean by “the cup?” (He’d like a way to avoid the cross!) What model does this give us as to how we should approach God?
Matthew 26:39-41	Why do you suppose the disciples fell asleep? What is another way to say, “my spirit was willing but my body was weak?” (I knew what the best thing to do was, but…) Name an instance when this happened to you.
Luke 22:41-45	Jesus is being very honest with God. What is something that you’d like to admit to God but are afraid to do so? Luke is the only gospel which includes the angel helping out Jesus and Jesus sweating blood. Do you suppose that Luke being a doctor had anything to do with the latter inclusion? (It has a medical name: Hematidrosis. Research this on the internet.)
Matthew 26:44-47	Do you suppose Jesus felt let down by his disciples? When is a time when someone let you down? Tell about a time when you may have let Jesus down.
Mark 14:43-46	What do you suppose is going through Judas’ mind? Who were these “chief priests” and why were they interested in arresting Jesus? (Review who they are here. Review why they are out to get Jesus by reading one example at Matthew 12:9-14.)
Luke 22:49-51	Why do you suppose Jesus’ followers were so quick to bare their swords? (and also seemingly quick to fall asleep!) What would you have done? How do you suppose the guards felt when they saw Jesus heal the man’s ear? Do you suppose they wondering: are we arresting the right guy?
Matthew 26:47-56	Explore the differences in the way the gospel writers tell this portion of the story — in Mark 14:43-50, and in Luke 22:47-53. The disciples go from sleeping on the job, to wielding swords, to running away. What about this surprises you? How would you have reacted to these events?

How do you value and encourage pondering in your family?

[1] Kate Charner-Laird, Sarah Fiarman, Frederick Won Park, and Sylvia Soderberg, Cultivating Student Reflection: A Step-by-Step Guide to Fostering Critical Thinking in Young Children, Issue 6 (Dorchester, MA: Project for School Innovation, 2003).

Photo credits:
Pouting child, by Sergio Vassio Photography, licensed on Flickr under a Creative Commons License. (Picture was cropped and text added by me.)

The strangest things can happen around your table

Posted on April 3, 2014March 24, 2016 by Carol Hulbert

What happens around your family dinner table?

a very messy eater a boy eating at a table

Food is served (and sometimes eaten).
Conversation unfolds.
Stories are told.
Things get messy.
Games are played.
Bread is broken.
Memories are made.

Here’s a table where I’m sure this happened…

Last Supper, 1896 work by Pascal Dagnan-Bouveret

Jesus and his disciples share the Last Supper

Well, okay. They probably didn’t play any games.
(But don’t that that stop you! See here for suggestions of games to play at the dinner table.)

What happens around your dinner table?

Are questions expressed, discussion encouraged, and disciples of Jesus cultivated?

Why not start today? Use this mini reading plan with discussion questions.

If you’d like to print out this reading plan/discussion guide, click here.
(Check out the other mini reading plans for our Rotation on the events of Holy Week here. If your kids aren’t clear about the order of the events of Holy Week, start at the beginning.)

Read	Talk about or do…
Luke 22:7-15	What is your favorite mealtime gathering? What sort of preparations are required? What is served at this meal? Why do you enjoy it? Why do you suppose Jesus “earnestly” wanted to share this meal with his disciples?
Mark 14:12-16	What is the Festival of Unleavened Bread? What is the Passover lamb? (Hint: look at Exodus 12:1-14.) How likely do you think it would be for the disciples to find a man carrying a jug of water? (Remember this is back in Jesus’ time when water retrieving was strictly women’s work.) There seems to be a bit of secrecy to this planning. Why do you suppose that was needed? (Remember what sort of danger was Jesus in.) Describe the details about how you would plan a secret location for a party.
John 13:1-5	Name the worst clean-up task that you can imagine. (Perhaps cleaning up after a sick puppy or washing the kitchen floor after a mishap involving a dozen raw eggs?) Why do you suppose the disciples feet needed washing? (Hint: think about their footwear and the roads in those days.)
John 13:1-11	Why do you suppose Peter didn’t want Jesus to wash his feet? Would you want your teacher at school to wash your feet? Name someone whom you’d never want to wash your feet. Why not? What do Peter’s feelings tell us about his relationship to Jesus?
John 13:12-17	How is washing someone’s feet an act of service? What do you suppose Jesus meant by saying that his disciples should wash other people’s feet? Did he mean literally?? Get out a small basin, some soap and a towel. Put some warm water into the basin and wash each others feet. What are you thinking as your feet are bathed?
John 13:14-15	We know what will happen to Jesus. We know how Judas will betray him, and Peter will deny him. Yet Jesus washes both Judas and Peter’s feet! Think about an act of service that you would struggle to do for someone, if you knew they were going to be mean to you in the future. Name some acts of service we can do for others. Are these hard or easy to do?
Matthew 26:20-25	What reaction do the disciples have when Jesus drops this “bomb?” How would you have reacted? The Bible doesn’t tell us why Judas snitched on Jesus. Some theorize that he wanted the money (John 12:4-6). Others propose that Judas was hoping that Jesus’ arrest would prompt Jesus to act more like the warrior king that the Jews had been expecting. (Or as one person has said: “Maybe Judas was throwing Jesus into the deep end of the pool, hoping he’d swim.” Quote source Have you ever wished that God would move a little faster in his plans for you? Have you ever betrayed someone’s trust? Can you describe why you did this?
Luke 22:19-20	What elements of a traditional Passover meal did Jesus turn around and give new meaning to? What is Jesus asking his disciples to do? What is he asking us to do? (Hint: reread Luke 22:19.) What are we suppose to remember – the way Jesus shared the bread and cup or what meaning it has? What meaning does it have?
Matthew 26:26-28	Do you suppose the disciples understood what Jesus was saying about his body and his blood? Would you have understood if you’d been there? How would you have felt when Jesus passed around the bread and the cup?
Matt 26:26-29 Mark 14:22-25 Luke 22:19-20	What similarities do you notice between these three accounts of this story? What differences exist? What do you think of Luke’s additional words about why we should repeat this act? (“Do this in memory of me.” When do we hear those words in church? (at Communion!)

Are memories being made around your table?

Photo credits:
At the table, by kate hiscock and a messy eater, by Matt Preston, both licensed on Flickr under a Creative Commons License. (No changes were made.)
Last Supper, an 1896 work by Pascal Dagnan-Bouveret in the Public Domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

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Bothered & Bewildered: Stuck in a playpen?

Posted on March 27, 2014March 9, 2017 by Carol Hulbert

The book Bothered & Bewildered by Ann Morisy “Bothered and Bewildered” — that’s the sermon series for Lent this year (2014) at FUMC. The idea for this theme came from the writings of Ann Morisy. That is one of her books over on the left: Bothered & Bewildered: Enacting Hope in Troubled Times.

Ann guest-lectured this past weekend in Ann Arbor. In one of her three talks, Ann spoke about bringing hope to those who are troubled and anxious — to those in a bothered and bewildered state.

Ah, that would be me.

I’ll admit – I’m often dazed and downright dizzy, and in the in midst of an overloaded life, I’m wondering, who me? A child of God? And why am I here?

What about you? Ever feel that way?

I’m thinking that a generous dose of uncertainty also applies to our current Rotation on the events of Holy Week. Some of the characters in our story were definitely a bit baffled.

Why did Jesus overturn the tables in the Temple? (Matthew 21:12-13).
What was Jesus talking about – “the Son of Man will be handed over…” (Matt 26:2).
And what brought Judas to snitch on his teacher?! (Matt 26:14-16).

Yes, I’d say that the portion of our story covered in this week’s mini reading plan (below), includes people who are troubled and anxious.

Can we relate?

To continue a previously started trend, let’s explore the concept of people bothered and bewildered during that first Holy Week. People, not unlike us, who (to borrow another Ann Morisy viewpoint) fear stepping outside of the playpen.

a child chews on the edge of a playpen

Do playpens even get used any more?

Those places where we placed a small child to keep them out of harms way while we were otherwise occupied? Keep the thought of a playpen — a safe place — in mind as you use this mini reading plan with discussion questions around the family dinner table. Or wherever your family (or your friends!) gather together. Use the chart below to read and talk about this particular portion of our story… in stages… over the coming weeks. Or print it out.

(Check out the start of the mini reading plans here.)

Read	Talk about or do…
Matthew 21:8-11	A bit of a review: Why is the crowd all worked up; who is coming into town? Why were they shouting words of praise – Hosanna!? What sort of king did they expect Jesus would be? What hint should they have taken from Jesus’ choice of a mode of transportation? How do you suppose the sight of this parade makes the people think: perhaps it would be safe to leave our playpens?
Matthew 21:12-13	Why do you suppose Jesus turned things upside down in the Temple? Imagine you were a money-changer in the Temple; what would you have thought? Imagine that you are someone who needed to buy a dove to offer as a sacrifice in the Temple. How do you feel being turned away? (Sorry there are no doves; that man let them all loose when he was overturning tables.)
Matthew 21:12-13	What about this event bothers you? What questions do you have? If you were there would you feel like you were in need of a playpen of safety and security, or a playpen full of challenges? What do you suppose Jesus is trying to tell us about prayer and worship?
Matthew 21:12-16	Why do you suppose the chief priests and the teachers of the law were so upset about kids making noise in the Temple? This is just one example of how they seemed to always butt heads with Jesus. Jesus came to earth to help put the world right again, but he used ways that were different than what people expected. What way do you suppose a “take-charge” type of king would have used in this instance to right the unfair practices at the Temple?
Matthew 26:1-2	A review: What did the festival of Passover celebrate? (Hint: look at Exodus 12:1-14.) What does the word “crucified” mean? (killed on a cross) Why did Jesus allow himself to be killed (he could have run away)? (It’s okay if you don’t have a definitive answer to this question. Discuss it anyway!)
Matthew 26:3-5	What festival were the religious leaders talking about? (Hint: look in verse 2.) What sort of playpen were they setting up for themselves to avoid a backlash of protest from “the people”? Why do you suppose they were worried about what others thought?
Matthew 26:14-16	Which disciple tattled on Jesus? (Judas Iscariot) What was the bad plan that Judas made? Have you ever made a “bad plan”? What happened? Was forgiveness necessary? Do you suppose that Jesus forgave Judas? What sort of playpen would you retreat to if you made a really bad plan? Or would you think to choose to run to Jesus instead?

Are you ready to continue with the next in our series of mini-reading/discussion plans?

Photo credits:
Youngster in a playpen by Ross Belmont, licensed under Creative Commons BY NC-SA 2.0

How to love others

Posted on February 20, 2014July 28, 2015 by Carol Hulbert

Cute little girl holding red heart - a 1910 Valentine greeting

Did you get any valentines last week?

Why do we need a “Hallmark holiday” to remind us to love those around us?

Because sometimes it’s hard to love.

I’m not talking about your loving your family and your friends. I’m talking about loving those who are different, or difficult, or down-right irritating!

But Jesus told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39).

Doing good, loving our neighbor — the stranger, the person who pushes our boundaries — it’s easier said than done.

Last week we talked about ways to love God. By loving God we are keeping the first four of the Ten Commandments. By loving our neighbor we are following the last six.

Love God	Love Others
1. Do not worship any god except me.	5. Respect your father and mother.
2. Do not make statues of gods (idols).	6. Do not murder.
3. Do not misuse my name.	7. Do not commit adultery.
4. Remember the Sabbath day.	8. Do not steal.
	9. Do not tell lies about others.
	10. Do not long for what belongs to someone else.

How do we talk to our family about loving our neighbor?

Start close to home…

Identify who your neighbors are. Do you know the names of the people who live around you?
Discuss why you live where you do. Did the “neighborhood” have anything to do with where you live?
What are some activities you enjoy doing? How might these activities help you to be more neighborly to those in your neighborhood?

Move out a bit…

Did Jesus mean neighbor, as in someone who lives next door?

Name some of our “neighbors” who don’t live in your neighborhood.

How do we recognize a “neighbor?” (Hint: It’s about recognizing a need.)

What are some needs we see in our community? In the world?

Move out further…

What do we do with our doubts? (The needs are so great!)

What if people around us want to throw their hands up and say, “What good can I do”?

What do we do when our attempts to “love” a neighbor are rejected?

How can we persevere?

How is your life a testimony to your love of God and neighbor?

Photo credits:
A valentine from 1910 by Royce Bair via Stock Solution Photo Agency. Shared under a Creative Commons License.

Loving God by loving others with our words

Posted on February 12, 2014August 29, 2015 by Carol Hulbert

It has been a while since I’ve written a blessing for you to use with your child. How about one that ties to our current Rotation story on the Jesus’ Greatest Commandment? Something about loving God with all you’ve got, and loving others as you love yourself.

A blessing is a way of giving someone love, and when you love others you are loving God.

Here is a suggested blessing that is good to use with little ones (and touches on the all you’ve got portion of our Bible story). Touch each part of their body as you say the words…

May your head always think thoughts of God.
May your ears hear whispers of God’s love.
May your eyes see God’s wonders.
May your lips speak kind words to others.
May your heart beat strongly in tune to God’s ways.
May your hands do the work of God.
May you spend time on your knees in God’s presence.
May your feet always follow God’s path.

You will be speaking words to your child that are like love letters from God, delivered by you.

Click on a box if you would like to…
Satisfy your curiosity about why you should bless your child.
View other suggested blessings.

Photo credits:
Father and daughter by Judy Baxter, who licensed this photo on Flickr under a Creative Commons License.

How to love God

Posted on February 6, 2014July 28, 2015 by Carol Hulbert

Let’s review the Ten Commandments. What was the first one?

A sign says 'Rule #1: Don't pick up the goats'

Well, the Ten Commandments can be hard to remember. I guess it’s a good thing that this month we are learning about how Jesus shortened them for us by giving us what is called the Greatest Commandment.

Someone once asked Jesus which of God’s rules was the most important. Jesus’ reply recorded in Matthew 22:34-40, actually had two parts. He essentially told us to

Love God, and love your neighbor.

What a minute; I don’t remember either of those as one of the Ten C. What gives?

Jesus didn’t pick from the ten; he summarized all of the commandments into two. In fact we see that this nicely divides the Ten Commandments! The first four of the ten, show us how to love God (Exodus 20:3-11). The last six show us how to love others (Exodus 20:12-17).

Love God	Love Others
1. Do not worship any god except me.	5. Respect your father and mother.
2. Do not make statues of gods (idols).	6. Do not murder.
3. Do not misuse my name.	7. Do not commit adultery.
4. Remember the Sabbath day.	8. Do not steal.
	9. Do not tell lies about others.
	10. Do not long for what belongs to someone else.

Here is a discussion outline for your family to take a closer look at following the first portion of the Greatest Commandment: How to love God.

(For a discussion guide on talking about how to love others, look here.)

Spend time as a family (at the family dinner table perhaps) with everyone sharing one glad and one sad for the day. (Don’t try to fix anything, just listen and celebrate / commiserate.)

Tell kids that you are going to play a game. Have everyone think of something they love (a person, a place or a thing). Also have everyone think of something that they don’t love. Then go around the table and have everyone say “I love ____” filling in the blank with something that they love or don’t love. Have everyone decide if they really do love that item. Play a few rounds. Who can stump everyone with their choices?

Ask: What clues tell us that you love something?
How do you suppose people know that we love God?
How do we show that we love God?
Make a list and post it on the fridge! Are you doing these things every day?

A list of ways to love God

Not to detract from following the Ten Commandments but if we focus on loving God, in a sense we will be living the first four of the Ten Commandments and won’t have to worry about the details. By loving God we will be automatically obeying the first four commandments!

Photo credits:
For the love of goats (a sign at a petting zoo) by Gord McKenna, who licensed this photo on Flickr under a Creative Commons License.

Why make commandments? Especially when you know people can’t keep them

Posted on January 23, 2014July 28, 2015 by Carol Hulbert

Why did God make laws? Especially when his commandments are really tough to keep. No work on the Sabbath? When was the last time that one got followed? Why make laws when you know that people will end up breaking the rules?

I’ll give you a hint of the answer:

To make us realize our need for God’s grace.
And because God loves us.

(Okay. That was two hints.)

The next time you are driving in the car with the kids, ask them why you should have to stop whenever you see a red sign of a certain-shape?

Steer them to realizing the purpose of laws: They keep people safe.

Next, ask them why they think your family has rules? (Such as: no playing in the street when there is traffic.)

Direct them to realizing that you have rules to keep them safe and because you love them!

God had the same reason for giving us the Ten Commandments: he loves us!

Wait a minute (you may say)… laws can be restricting. They make life no fun!

And this is for love?

A bit of backstory is needed. When God first handed out his laws, the intent may have seemed as though it was to bring order to an unruly bunch. The newly freed Israelites were at a point where they needed:

To recognize who God was,
To remember God’s past provision,
To recall God’s covenant with their forefathers (and foremothers),
To learn how to honor God, (How to stay in love with God!)
To establish a new life together learning how to live (and how to act) as God’s people.

Hmm. Those reasons for laws still apply to us today!

It’s time for a bit of discussion at the family dinner table. (Or wherever your family is gathered together.) If needed, cover this over several days.

This family discussion guide can be printed! Click here.

Bring out a toaster, or a hair dryer, or other small electrical appliance that has a cautioning label on the cord. Have your family read the warning tag. Ask them why do you suppose the manufacturer placed it there?

Recall your earlier conversations in the car (or ask those questions now).

Why did God want to give his people laws? (Accept all replies.)
Then perhaps offer some answers:

A. Because they were misbehaving left and right! They needed laws! (Nope.)

B. Because God felt like being in charge! (Nope.)

C. Because God loved them and wanted his people to be safe!

Read together Exodus 19:3-6.

What does this passage tell you about how God feels for his people?

Pay close attention to verse 6:

Now obey me completely. Keep my covenant. If you do, then out of all of the nations you will be my special treasure.

God continually seeks a connection with humanity!
God looks on all of us as his treasured people!

Let that sink in. (I’m awed.)

When you are ready for more…

Re-read Exodus 19:3-6. And then read 1 Peter 2:9.

What does God mean that we are to be his “kingdom of priests?”

In Bible times only priests could have close access to God. (A priest would
be similar to Rev. Doug or Rev. Nancy.) To be a “royal priesthood” means that everyone can have a loving relationship with God!

Ask: If God really loves us & gave us laws to keep us safe & guide us, why are his laws so hard (okay, impossible) to keep? (allow all replies)

What do you feel like doing when something seems hopeless?
(You might want help, right!?)

God’s laws make us aware of the seriousness of sin.

(Sin is whatever we do, or don’t do, that pushes God, or other people away.)

God is pained by our sin but is always willing to forgive us when we ask.
Our inability to keep God’s laws helps us to see how much we need God!

Ask: Do you suppose that if you could perfectly follow the Ten Commandments that you’d win extra special points with God? (nope!)

God sent his son, Jesus, to take the punishment for our sin and to establish a new way for us to enter into a relationship with God.

A relationship based on love!

Photo credits:
Kids crossing by jeweledlion. Exodus 19 by thekmochs. (All photos licensed on Flickr under a Creative Commons License and found via photopin.)
Toaster and other clip art from the public domain via WPClipart.com.

In this new year, I have a wish for you

Posted on January 2, 2014January 17, 2014 by Carol Hulbert

Happy New Year!

I hope that your new year will be filled with peace, and prosperity,
and encounters with the presence of God.

Oh shucks, that’s not my real wish.

I mean, yes, I really do desire all of that for you,
but here’s what I’m honestly hoping for…

That your family spends time together
incorporating stories from the Bible into your everyday life.

I’m hoping that when your child invites a friend over for dinner and this friend hears your family making sacred connections with the secular, and they question your child about this behavior, your kid proudly says, “this is what we do.”

How can you get to this point?

Read together the Bible. (Use a story Bible if your kids are young – here’s a good one: The Jesus Storybook Bible.)
Ask a question that start with the words “I wonder…”
Listen carefully to everyone’s replies.
Repeat.

For example, to prepare for our upcoming Rotation on the Ten Commandments, review the story of Abraham and Sarah. Read Genesis 12:1-4, and 15:1-5, and 17:1-9.
Then ask:

I wonder if God’s promises to Abraham ever came true?
I wonder what an everlasting covenant is?
I wonder how this story ties to the Ten Commandments?

Refer to this post if you’d like more discussion questions.

What can you do today, to practice what you hope to achieve in the coming year?

Photo credits:
Click here for info on banner photo (not visible in readers or email).
New Year’s greeting from 1910, by Puzzler4879 under a Creative Commons License on Flickr.